A continuation of 30 days of kink
Day 25: How open are you about your kinks?
For a long time, I’ve kept my interest in kink out of my vanilla life. I wouldn’t lie about it, but I wouldn’t be actively vocal about it too.
There were effectively no obvious bridges from my vanilla life to my kinks, only from my kinks to my vanilla.
Over time, this barrier is progressively coming down to more and more people. I don’t deny my sexual interests when asked, but I don’t go shouting about them from the rooftops either.
A lot of people seem to have this misguided view of me being a ‘clean-cut butter wouldn’t melt’ type person. I know through experience the quieter ones are often the most kinky (the loud ones clearly haven’t learn’t the joys of a ball-gag yet).
There are various people who really should have picked up on the various signs by now (you really think I became that familiar with making up all these knots in hemp, purely from sailing?) and I’m a bit disappointed in myself I wasn’t more vocal about being ‘out and proud’ about that at those times.
Despite the proliferation of people’s interests in BDSM growing year on year (based on user numbers online, erotica, etc), there still seems to be a strong stereotypical fear from people, and significant mis-understandings that’s the antithesis of what BDSM means to me (that BDSM is about intimacy, communication, trust, and connections between two people).
So those misunderstandings have certainly added caution.
I’m now trying to be more pro-active in expressing my interests at appropriate times. And have been co-leading introductions to BDSM at the local help centres, I will be launching the new bondage board game via my regular networks, etc..
I really want more people to experience the joy of what it can be like, to truly experience your deepest desires in an environment where everyone is on the same page, and who are there for the same complementary reasons for themselves too.