A delayed continuation of 30 days of kink
Day 23: Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? How so?
My very first memories of kink are from a very young age. Earlier on, I didn’t fully understand the sexual aspects of why I may enjoy it. As I look back on the formative scenes of movies and TV shows, I remember recognising that the enjoyment was very much for both people involved, and it wasn’t just a one-sided inbalance.
For many years, I restricted myself to predominantly bondage and domination (experiencing both ends of the rope, even though I tended to the topping side). This felt much more accessible in the sensuality aspects, particularly with new partners who often weren’t met through the kink scenes. It was only much more recently I began to recognise my fun sadistic side (and that this was enjoyable for me outside of therapeutic sadism through massage). Even more so recently discovering that I have a masochistic side too.
For safety purposes (as I saw it), I felt safer to stick to roles more as a ‘service top’ in that I would help people experience their own fantasies (which was great with a range of play partners).
And even though those fantasies were positioned very comfortably within my own interests, it felt like a lower risk in terms of consensuality (and the ongoing concern that I couldn’t be subsequently accused of manipulation / coersion / etc. if I was only carrying out what they had come to me with).
As time went on, I began to learn that my own desires could also work extremely well with others of a like mind (of course within suitable pre-agreed limits and the like, prior discussion and pre-negotiation).
These days, I feel fortunate to be able to appreciate virtually every kink and fetish I hear of. I may not be massively into it personally for whatever reason (in that I may not go out of my way to find someone to do this with off my own back), but I can appreciate why someone else may be, and I’m generally happy to explore whatever it may be further with people.
I still very much enjoy helping other people bringing their own fantasies into reality (where someone comes to me with a scenario or scene they may have envisioned for a long time), embracing the dynamic to make it my own as such, especially so that people don’t feel they’re topping from the bottom (if that’s what they generally prefer).
However I’m also very grateful to now be able to share my own desires with others, and generally find people to make them a reality.
Even more lucky to know there are people in my life now, that I can know well enough to just let my ideas form spontaneously, and know everything I could want to do is something they want to have happen too. Also confident that should anything unexpected happen for whatever reason, safewords and adequate communication will be used immediately.
I’m very much enjoying the ongoing journey, and I’m sure I won’t stop learning more about myself and others.