The continuation of 30 days of kink
Day 2: List your kinks.
This is already pretty well covered on my profile.
Day 3-5 will all be covered in one post
Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?
Day 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hinted at your kinks?
Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience? If you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to have happen.
Perhaps weirdly, I don’t remember not being kinky.
I remember the desire to tie other people up, long before I had the desire for sex. I’d set up ‘escapology’ challenges for my friends from quite an early age, and tie them with whatever string I had to hand (even the cheapest cotton twine). Often, each person in the group would take it in turns, but my ties seemed to always be the most secure, so it got to the stage people would stop letting me tie them because they knew they wouldn’t be able to escape from it.
I didn’t do anything to them while they were tied, but would get satisfaction just watch while they tried to escape, learning from their movements to prevent that particular freedom in the future, feeling content when they were stuck and gave up, then I’d untie them.
This would normally be in my bedroom, generally tied to the regular chair in my room, or just free to attempt to move about on the floor.
My awareness changed when I’d got hold of a long ‘keep net’ for fishing, and had pulled it over my friends head, down the length of their body, and then cinched it shut beneath their feet (I was probably about 12 years old at the time). That person then started hopping about my house effectively showing off how I’d tied them, thinking it was funny, and I remember thinking it felt wrong for them to be out of my bedroom whilst ‘tied’ because this was something we should only do in private. From then on, I stopped tying my friends.
In the meantime, I was collecting various strings / lines / ropes / old neck ties / belts / rings / etc., keeping them all in an old rucksack. I took to just practising on myself, still not finding it sexual for quite some time, but learning more about positions, comfort, what worked, what was secure, how to get out, the wide choice of what to use, etc.
One particular time, I’d done a simple by secure hog-tied myself on the floor in my bedroom, and was simple trying to work out the knots behind my back, to get myself out of it again. I was mostly clothed, but this one time, the movement of trying to reach part of the knot behind my back resulted in my groin being rubbed against the floor in a particular way. I became aware it was quite an enjoyable feeling, and so stopped trying to untie the knot, and just starting rocking my hips instead, to maximise this new and enjoyable feeling.
After however long it took (probably only a few minutes), I remember of course having the uncontainable urge to want to take a piss (not actually appreciating what the sensation was). The more I tried to deny this feeling, the more I rocked my hips and puled my wrists and ankles at their bindings, the more the sensation grew, which was weirdly pleasurable but I didn’t quite grasp it, until eventually, I let myself give into the feeling and just let it happen. To my comparative surprise, I had my first ever climax.
That was probably the moment I then finally understood the sexual aspects of bondage.
While self-tying for those years, I didn’t seem to fantasise about someone else having bound me, it was more just the physical sensation of the bindings and straining my body against them that was pleasurable.
I would still practise different positions, looking forward to tying ‘her’, so that she could experience the feelings I was learning about giving, being sure she’d enjoy it too.
Some years later, I had my first ‘proper’ girlfriend tied up before getting beyond kissing with her.
The very first time I had sex was effectively vanilla. But the second time (starting about 30 minutes after) was with her bound, her wrists tied behind her back, her legs wrapped around me, with her balanced on the edge of the hotel sink worktop.
We switched occasionally, but it was about 85% her bound.
Every partner I’ve had since, has wanted to be bound to various levels (often with me being the first time they’d actually experience it), even though I’d meet them mostly through conventional methods. I think every relationship I’ve now had, has involved kink in the bedroom.
I feel very lucky and grateful to have been able to experience this for so long.